Don’t talk about the four years of your life you don’t remember. I appreciate the twelve-step programs and about being honest with others, etc. But as your date is sipping her wine and making light conversation after meeting you for the first time ten minutes ago, it’s probably best not to share that you were so strung out at one point that your mind’s a blank between ages 25 and 29. Like, you literally can’t remember anything, including where you were living (Seattle? SF? On my friend’s couch?)

If you’re attached to your phone during a date, then as soon as you abandon it to go to the restroom or get the waiter’s attention, your date will be checking it to see if you’ve written anything about him. Texting, Tweeting, Facebook posting is all off limits during the date, or it’s fair game for snooping. Plus, it’s just rude. Do whatever you want after, but give your date attention now.

Even if she picked an expensive bar and you have to pay for $20 cocktails. Even if she doesn’t look like her online dating picture. It’s rude to just not show up, or to sneak out of the bathroom and leave her waiting for your return. Next time you pick the place. And show up. And stay. Don’t be an a-hole. Even if she’s not your type, don’t make her feel bad for it. Make conversation. Buy her a drink. Be classy, even if she’s not right for you. Same for you ladies. Give the sweaty guy a chance.

No, I don’t mean when talking, I mean when chewing something. Anything. Your date doesn’t want your food bits flying into her glass of wine, then swirling around the top. Then she won’t want to drink her wine. Just keep it zipped when there’s food in your mouth. Don’t even think about your ex. If he crosses your mind, let him keep going past. There’s no way your date wants to hear about him, what went wrong, or even how awful he was to you.